Occasionally, I still get interrogated, not for criminal prosecution, but for newspaper articles or television appearances to promote a show in Buffalo, West Palm Beach, Chicago . . . Some of my favorite Q & A’s (these really happened):

Q: Mark, if you were born a century earlier, what would you be doing?

A: I’d be the guy who sold licorice ropes at a hanging.

Q: What’s your favorite comedy material?

A: I find Spandex is always a good laugh.

Q: What do you hear about your appearance?

A: “Dude, where’s your hair?”

Q: What do you reminisce about? As in childhood?

A: Having bangs.

Q: Favorite introduction?

A: “Ladies and gentleman — Please welcome the man voted 1992 Entertainer of the Year by the St. Ignatius Detox in Davenport, Iowa!!”

Q: Don’t people take 12-step recovery too far?

A: That’s the definition of an addict, isn’t it?